In case you missed #YouCan’tMakeThisStuffUp Part 1 of 5 yesterday, here’s a link to that blog post: https://janetswritingblog.com/2020/03/23/youcantmakethisstuffup-part-1-of-5/.
Today we pick up my tale of woe as my sister, Marie, dials 9-1-1 after falling into me and fracturing my tibia. Of course, we don’t know exactly what my injury is at this point.
It is determined that she can take me to the hospital if the fire department will send out a crew to provide “lift assistance.”
The firemen are great! They help me sit down in the rollator we had for Marie’s knee surgery recovery. The three firemen pick me and the rollator up, take me out the door, and down the steps to the car. Off Marie and I go!
What happened to you?
While signing in at the emergency room and being triaged, everyone wants to know how I got hurt. I’m trying to make light of the situation because I have no idea I have a fractured leg. (I’m in pain, but I haven’t considered that the accident could have fractured a bone.)
Everyone at the hospital thinks I’m kidding when I tell them what happened. Imagine my surprise when the x-rays show a closed fracture of my right tibial plateau. I didn’t know my tibia had a plateau. Since the bone hadn’t come through the skin, I have no idea how life-changing this injury will be.
Meanwhile, Marie is getting tired of my including her in the story of how I got hurt. I tell her, “That’s too bad. If I leave you out of the story all that’s left is, ‘I was stirring soup and broke my leg.’ That makes no sense. The truth – the whole truth – is a much more interesting story.”
What do you mean you don’t have a key?
They put my leg in an immobilizer and give me a pain killer that makes me so dizzy I can’t stand up to be discharged. When that passes, I’m wheeled out to the car and we set off for home.
We’re really hungry. It’s after 1:00 a.m. on January 28, and it’s been a long time since lunch. We’re glad to get home and can’t wait to call the fire department for lift assistance again, get something to eat, and go to bed.
Marie gets out of the car, goes to the porch, comes back to my car window and says, “I can’t find the house key!” I try to calmly ask, “What do you mean you don’t have your house key? I don’t have mine because all we took of mine was my wallet.”
Sorry to wake you up, but…
There’s nothing for us to do but call our friend, Carol, who has a key to our house. (Before you start yelling at me….. We used to have a spare key hidden in the yard in one of those little fake rocks, but a raccoon or some other wildlife moved the “rock” and dumped the key out in the grass. We hadn’t yet worked out a new hiding place.)
By now it’s 1:30 a.m. Carol comes to our rescue and apologizes for being her pajamas. We don’t care what she’s wearing. It’s cold, we’re hungry, and we’re just glad she was at home and able to find that key!
To be continued. . .
Until my next blog post
As the whole world journeys through this Coronavirus-19 pandemic, remember we’re all in this together. Stay safe. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Eat comfort food.
Tune in tomorrow for #YouCan’tMakeThisStuffUp Part 3 of 5.