I considered saving today’s topic for my July 7 planned blog post about the books I am reading in June, but I decided it deserved its own post.
Last week, I read the fourth chapter in How We Learn to Be Brave: Decisive Moments in Life and Faith, by Mariann Edgar Budde.
If the author’s name sounds familiar, it is because she is the Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, D.C. and the Washington National Cathedral. She spoke boldly in the worship service on President Trump’s Inauguration Day in January 2025, and was sharply criticized by Trump for her courage.
My sister read this book and encouraged me to at least read the fourth chapter before she returned it to the public library. She said it reminded her of me and some of my life experiences. I took time to read that 34-page chapter titled, “Accepting What You Do Not Choose.”
My story (well, part of it)
At the age of 25 I accepted the fact that I had a medical problem that was incurable but could be treated with a series of surgeries. It meant that I would never have a chance to have children. Less than ten years later I accepted the fact that I had chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, neither of which can be cured and treatment of the symptoms is poor at best.
What I was able to accept has astounded my sister. She knows better than anyone else how much physical pain I tolerate and the fatigue that makes it difficult for me to get up and face each day. She says she has asked God, “Why Janet?” but I just find that odd because I have never asked God, “Why me?”
I admit that when I get frustrated over the memory problems that accompany chronic fatigue syndrome that cause me to make mistakes and have to repeat various tasks, I do sometimes ask God why life has to be so hard.
But I’ve never asked God why I had endometriosis, a ten-pound ovarian cyst, fibroid tumors, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, chronic corneal erosion, and so forth. Why would I do that? Stuff happens. God never promised us that life would be a bed of roses. He promised He would always be with us. Diseases happen. Accidents happen. No one has a perfect life, so why would I expect my life to be perfect?
My father was my example
My example was my father. He was just 61 years old when he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. I had just started my sophomore year in college. He lived for almost five more years. The chemotherapy acted like fertilizer on his cataracts and he went blind. Blindness was harder for him to accept than his cancer because there was nothing he could do to fight blindness.
He insisted on having cataract surgery against his doctors’ recommendations, but it was unsuccessful. But in those five years of sickness and eventual legal blindness, I never once heard my father ask, “Why me?” That just was not the way he approached his medical diagnoses. He continued to work every day until his eyesight made it impossible for him to drive.
What Bishop Budd’s 4th chapter had to say
I read the fourth chapter in Bishop Budde’s book, and it was comforting. She writes from a place of physical pain that I did not know she had. The book gave me some things to think about. It is always helpful to listen to another person’s perspective.
Budde writes several pages about the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King and how he accepted the life he was dealt. She writes about acting from a place of love and putting the other person ahead of ourselves. Instead of being like the Levite and the priest in the story of the Good Samaritan, we should strive to be like the Good Samaritan.
The Levite and the priest in the story saw the man who needed help, but they were afraid of what could happen to them if they stopped to help the man. But if we try to adopt the mindset of the Good Samaritan, when we see someone who needs help or an injustice, we should ask ourselves, “What will happen to them if I don’t act?”
That is the question I have asked myself daily since January 20, 2025. What will happen to my country, to my great-nieces, to their future children, if I don’t act?
With Episcopal Bishop Michael Curry’s words in mind from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding ceremony, Budde writes, “When we choose love in response to what we wish we could change but can’t; when we choose love as our response to the world as it is, not as what we wish it were; when we choose love over denial, or anger, or cynicism and withdrawal, we share in God’s redeeming of our world. It doesn’t make the work any easier, but it gives our efforts a sense of purpose that can carry us through. Through our imperfect efforts, God’s grace shines through us in ways we may never know or fully understand.”
Budde closes the fourth chapter with the following words:
“Our lives are full of unforeseen choices, struggles, and callings. Sometimes we can overcome these obstacles, and sometimes we must make peace with them…. Accepting what we did not choose involves a leap of faith that God is present and at work in ways that we cannot comprehend…. This kind of acceptance is not passive or fatalistic, but rather a courageous choice at a decisive moment to embrace the places we are broken as an integral part of a courageous life.”
I didn’t feel courageous at age 24 but maybe I am at 72
I don’t consider that I was courageous in accepting my physical limitations. It never occurred to me that I had a choice, so what would have been the point of fighting or lashing out at God about them?
Another participant in a Chronic Fatigue Syndrome support group in the 1980s who every month angrily said, “I refuse to be sick! I’m not going to put up with this. The rest of you can be sick if you want to, but I refuse.” I don’t know what became of her. I hope she was able to find a place of acceptance and contentment.
There was another participant in the support group who presented herself as a wealthy middle-age woman who enjoyed playing tennis every day. She could no longer play tennis and it crushed her spirit. She committed suicide.
I did not choose to have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since April 26, 1987, but here I am.
On the other hand, I did not choose to have Donald Trump as my President, and it is taking a degree of courage for me to express my concerns in my blog. I don’t personally know but a few of the people who read my blog. WordPress tells me that people in 81 countries have read my blog just in 2025. People who may wish me harm for my opinions might read my blog. A few trolls have read it and left unpleasant comments.
I’m happy to engage in a “conversation” about the topics in my blog, but when a comment turns into a personal attack or accusations about my credibility or motives, I draw the line and I delete them. I do not owe my time and limited energy to someone who merely wants to pick a fight.
The bottom line
“The bottom line” is that we do not choose many of the things that happen to us, but we can always choose how we react to them. Our experiences make us who we are. If I had not had some medical problems, I would not be the person I am today.
We can look for constructive and creative things to do when we have physical or career setbacks. If I had not been forced to give up my chosen career due to my health at the age of 34, I might not have taken a writing course at the age of 48.
If I had not taken that writing course, I would not have had the confidence to write a local history column for the newspaper at the age of 53 to 59. If I had not taken that writing course, I would not have started a blog at the age of 60.
If I had not written 175 local history articles for the newspaper, I wouldn’t have been able to self-publish them in two books (Harrisburg, Did You Know? Cabarrus History, Books 1 and 2). If I hadn’t wanted to publish those articles in book form, I wouldn’t have learned how to format a book on the computer so I could self-publish on Kindle Direct Publishing.
If I had not taken that writing course or published those two history books, I would not have published two short stories on Amazon… or a cookbook with my sister in 2023.
If I had not taken that writing course, I would not be writing an historical novel now at the age of 72.
If I had not had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, and Seasonal Affective Disorder and learned how to write and self-publish, I would not have just finished writing a devotional book. I hope to publish I Need The Light in August, so stay tuned!
God did not wish for me to have any of my physical maladies, but he gave me the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives me the gumption to get up every day (although some days I don’t get up until the afternoon) and to seek God’s will in my life.
It is through The Trinity — God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit — that I have the energy and creative motivation many days to read, write, interact with the friends I’ve made around the world through my blog, sometimes dabble in genealogy, and occasionally keep learning to play the dulcimer – a musical instrument I took up in middle age.
It is through The Trinity that I was given an interest in history and political science. It is those lifelong interests that compel me to pay attention to current events. The current events in my country are sources of much stress and concern.
I see the democracy in which I have thrived all my life under attack now from within. My government is turning against its citizens and the things we value. I did not vote for any of this, but the situation is the one I’ve been dealt.
It is up to me how I react.
Some days I wish I could just turn off the news. Some days I wish I could listen to the news and then just go about my business and not be concerned. Lots of people seem to be able to do that. I am not one of them. (I am simultaneously envious of them and frustrated with them!)
The reelection of Donald Trump has upended my little weekly blog (and, therefore, my life) into an almost daily report (some say “rant”) about the dismantling of our democracy. Nothing about 2025 is what I had planned for myself, but life happens.
Now you see
So now, 1,900 words later, you see why I decided to give the fourth chapter of Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde’s book, How We Learn to Be Brave: Decisive Moments in Life and Faith, its own blog post.
Some of you might think my life is too much of an open book. I get it. Some people don’t want anyone to know they have medical problems. I don’t share that information about myself to get your sympathy. That’s not what this is about. But perhaps someone else with health problems at a young age (or at any age) can take some measure of encouragement from my blog today or from the devotional book I will blog more about later.
It’s all about faith and where we get out courage to keep putting one foot in front the other. It’s about how we react to whatever comes our way.
What are your priorities?
What creative and constructive ways have you found to express yourself and react to the life you have been given?
It’s never too late to find your voice.
It has been my experience that when life circumstances close a door, God always opens a window… or even a bigger door.
Until my next blog post
Keep reading and paying attention to what’s happening in your country and the world. Being a citizen is not a spectator sport!
Remember the brave people of Ukraine, and don’t forget the people in western North Carolina who are still recovering from last September’s hurricane and record-setting flooding and landslides… as well as a new flood and landslide two days ago just over in Tennessee which has closed I-40 to all traffic (again) for a couple of weeks.
Janet


















